The Weight of What Others Think

God spoke to me today. 

He speaks to me everyday, but today he really spoke to me. 

Allow me to elaborate… 

I went to grab lunch with a friend today. While we were out, I recognized a familiar face in the restaurant we were in. It’s possible that that familiar face could read this blog post, but this is super important, so it’s worth the risk. 

This was a person who hasn’t played a huge role in my life, but has still been a part of it nonetheless. With that being said, I should mention that after seeing this person, I began remembering every insecurity that I have ever had. Not because of them (they haven’t done a thing to me to make me think this way), but because that’s just where my mind goes. That’s just the sort of person I am – if I see an attractive person, I immediately start thinking about all of the reasons that I am not attractive – but that’s beside the point.

Anyway, as I’m going through all of these insecurities in my mind, God suddenly sends me a thought. One that I’ve never had before – at least not right when I needed it anyway.

With my friend sitting across from me, I started (out loud) saying to myself, “You know what? Even if this person doesn’t want to talk to me or doesn’t much like me, that doesn’t mean that I’m not worth talking to or that I’m not likeable. Because God likes me. Correction – God loves me. My confidence doesn’t come from anyone else.” 

I kid you not, my insecurities all kind of got quieter after that. They were still there, just not as loud as they were before. And for me, that’s huge.

After I got home, I really started thinking deeper about this. Y’all, I’m not kidding when I say that I was walking circles inside of my house with my phone in my hand, typing everything that God was bringing into my mind in that moment. I know I must’ve looked like a crazy person, but luckily, no one else was home.

What I’m about to say here is going to be written in first person because that’s how it came to me, but it applies to everyone reading this, not just to myself. Even those who don’t end up reading this. I encourage you to even repeat these things to yourself if self-confidence is something you struggle with, because I actually found it so much more helpful than I thought it would be. 

God helped me realize today: just because someone doesn’t think that I’m interesting, doesn’t mean that I’m not interesting. Or just because someone doesn’t find me appealing, doesn’t mean that I’m not an appealing person. Just because someone doesn’t see me as beautiful, that does not mean that I’m not beautiful. I could go on and on here with countless other things, but then this post would be far longer than it needs to be.

Let’s be honest here for a minute, shall we? I think we shall.

I’m one of these people who cares way too much about what other people think of me. I struggle with it everyday whether I notice it or not, and I know that the people I spend the most time around can see it in most of the things that I do. I wish I could hide that part of me, but I don’t have the ability to properly wear a “poker face”. I’d say I wish that I didn’t struggle at all with this, but I believe that everything happens for a reason, so I’m not going to say that. 

What I am going to say though, is that no matter what this person thought/thinks of me (or what anyone else may think of me), these thoughts about me are all just opinions. They are not facts, nor are they all truth. 

As humans, our feelings, emotions, moods, thoughts, and opinions can change in a second. They’re fragile, unstable, and unreliable. If I continue to allow myself to build my entire existence on what others think about me, then I will be like the man who built his house upon the sand (Matthew 7:26-27), and the waves and winds of insecurities, lies and fears will beat relentlessly on my house and I will crumble. 

But God. He is that solid rock, in which I must build my life upon (Matthew 7:24-25) – and that includes the things that I believe about others and about myself.

God never changes. His word stays the same, his opinions stay the same, his thoughts stay the same, and his truth stays the same. And at the end of the day, what he thinks about us (and knows to be true) is really all that matters. When we reach the end of our journey here on earth, we won’t have to stand before and answer to everyone who we’ve ever had an impact on – bad or good. We won’t be looking at the faces of the people we’ve met over the course of this life. In the end, we will stand before Jesus Christ. Not the world, not their opinions of us, and not the standards that we try so desperately to live up to. We will look at the face of God and realize that so much precious time was wasted here on earth on dwelling on the things that matter so little. 

The weight of what others think is a heavy load that none of us have to carry, but so many of us do because it’s hard not to in the world that we’re living in today. It’s hard not to wonder how others view us, and I don’t believe there is anything wrong with wondering. However, it is when it begins to control us, and our minds, and the way we live our lives is when it becomes unhealthy and harmful.

The devil was whispering in my ear as I was writing all of this today. He said, “why are you writing this? No one else struggles the way that you do. No one will read this, let alone get anything out of it. No one cares.” 

I’m afraid I could write a book with all of the lies the devil has told me, and especially with all of the ones I’ve believed. Maybe we all could. But I know that even if most of the people that come across this article don’t deal with these things, there are still those few people out there that do. And if you’re out there and you’re reading this, you are seen, you are heard, and you are definitely not alone. 

We don’t have to be held captive to these things, friends. There is FREEDOM from these lies through Jesus Christ, and He’s been trying to tell me this for a while now… I just have been too caught up in other things to listen.

At the end of all of this, we weren’t put on this earth to compete with each other. We weren’t placed here by God so that we could see if we can become better than the next person. We were put here to bring honor and glory to God, and we are all in this together (no High School Musical pun intended). So instead of tearing each other (and ourselves) down, we need to start building each other up and encouraging one another. Whether it’s to someone’s face or when they’re not around, let’s work on spreading positivity, love, and encouragement – even to ourselves. Because everyone has a purpose on this earth. We all matter. We all are precious in the sight of God and loved so very much by Him. 

We are called to spread the light of the Lord, and the best way to do that is to love. To love others and to understand that we, too, are so very loved. I know I’ve got a whole lot to work on, but I thank God for never giving up on me and I beg that he would continue to open my eyes a little more each day. And not just mine, but yours too. 

God bless.

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Jesus Loves You

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